


Delay

by Aris Merquoni (ArisTGD)



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, Masturbation, Other, virginity/celibacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-14
Updated: 2010-08-14
Packaged: 2017-10-11 02:17:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/107271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArisTGD/pseuds/Aris%20Merquoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marcus ponders the virtue of delayed satisfaction. Written for the "virginity/celibacy" prompt for kink_bingo 2010.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Delay

Lennier frowned at him. "What does that mean?"

Marcus sipped his tea. "It means I haven't had sex yet."

Lennier was good at disguising his body language and his expression, but Marcus had Ranger training on how to tease out subtleties of motion in Minbari and other humanoids, so Lennier's surprise was as evident as if he'd shouted. "Forgive my ignorance," Lennier finally said, "but I was taught when I came to Babylon 5 that most humans view sexual relations as a way of increasing communal bonding and releasing endorphins."

"Oh, yes," Marcus said, nodding.

He didn't really mind the questioning--he'd more or less accidentally brought it up, in the form of a casual remark about one of his reports. And when Lennier came to visit him in his quarters instead of meeting in more formal surroundings, they often started talking about philosophy, religion, alien races... anything that came to mind.

"Forgive me, it's obviously a personal matter," Lennier said, again backing down.

Marcus shrugged. "It's not like that. Arisia colony was just a little more conservative than much of Earth territory, and I didn't feel the need to change when I left."

The truth, he reflected later when he was alone again with his thoughts, was that he'd had several opportunities to change when he'd left home for civilization... but something about the way people had looked when he'd brought up the subject, the combination of surprise and intrigue, had made him hesitate.

He lay back on his bed and stared up into the shadows of the dim ceiling. He reached down to stroke himself, enjoying the simple sensations--heat, tension, the dizziness of pleasure. The ache of delayed satisfaction.

If there was anything he'd really excelled at in Ranger training, it was internalizing the idea of delayed satisfaction.

He didn't want to be perfect, he didn't want to be special, he didn't want to be pure. He just wanted to live in this moment--the moment when everything could be exceptional because it hadn't happened yet. The moment when he could tell her how he felt, and suddenly it would be her hands doing this, her fingers instead of his, her body tangent to all the planes of his own.

He gasped, suddenly aware of how close he'd come to the edge, pulled his hand away and fought to steady his breathing. When his body was back under control, he cradled his penis again and started stroking slowly, root to tip, with only the most gentle pressure.

He wanted to keep himself for Susan, he knew--not for her sake, though her words indicated she appreciated the idea. He wanted to do it for his sake. To deny himself, until he could know her. To feel this burning longing for as many seconds as possible, until it almost consumed him, until he could quench his fire against her skin--

His orgasm was an almost-painful shock, pleasure so intense he half regretted it the instant he had it, wishing he could live on that knife-edge another minute more. When his breathing was regular again, he cleaned himself off and consigned himself to sleep.


End file.
